Here's something that I've been noticing lately in the field that I think has a lot of relevance.
Here's the scenario: you're talking to a girl and she'll all of a sudden say something along the lines of, "If you do X, Y, Z, I'll leave." Like, seemingly out of the blue.
I've seen it plenty. I used to think this was some sort of challenge to my "alphaness" or something... like, if I did what she said, I'd be supplicating and then I'd lose the girl.
What I've come to understand is that this was not, in actuality, some kind of test. It was legitimate.
What it meant was that she was in state, and that ifyou said something to break her state that she would come out of it and her social conditioning to get the hell out of there would kick in.
This phenomenon is related to something we at RSD call "blueprints".
What blueprints are, basically, are a set of value calibrators and emotional precursors that girls need to feel (usually related to value calibrations in the interaction), in order to feel attraction.
This causes them to go into state, and makes them practically lose control over themselves.
What happens when you SNAP the blueprint, is that they walk off.
This is why many of you who have been in the field a long time have had experiences where you're cool with a girl for a few hours, and something goes wrong and she walks off and doesn't care if she ever sees you again. Like, she almost blocks you out of her reality.
It's kind of weird, and frustrating, but there are reasons for this.
For example, I remember being in Ibiza on the beach, and there is this girl being a total brat. I was with her for about 6 hours at this point. She's deeply in state, and saying things like "I saw this movie where these teenagers had sex on the beach. I
don't think we should do that."
Now I haven't kissed her, or done anything other than hang out with her.
But you can feel her subconscious mind is saturated with sex. She's trying to resist it because she just met me, but her emotions are telling her to do it and they are taking over her logical mind.
Anyway, this girl is being a brat, and she tries to shove sand down my throat. I grab a handful of sand to shove back at her, and she says "If you do that, this is over".
Now most guys think "This is a test! Shove the sand down her throat like she was trying to do to me."
No. Bad bad bad.
If you do that, she'll lose state because she is more concentrated on the sand being down her throat than she is on what's happening between you and her, and then she'll lose state.
Moreover, she may have done that to LOWER my value, in order to calibrate things so that we can hook up. This is counter-intuitive, but is related to female
psyche and social conditioning.
It's all blueprints.
That said, guys are very focused on girls "losing state" as if it's a continual fire they have to keep fueling.
This is SORT OF true, but not really.
Because if your value is high enough, her mind is still working overdrive to keep rapport with you, so laying back is not an issue.
For guys who do not have this social value though (yet), then they may not be so easily able to lay back, because then the girl will just be like "Umm, he's not that cool, and this has lost my interest, so I'm going to chase the next shiny thing."
With blueprints, girls are evaluating behavior patterns (mainly value calibrations), and deciding whether or not to hook up with you (or more likely,
early on, just to talk to you, to giggle at you or not, to have big eyes for you or not, to be focused on you or not, to touch you or not, etc etc etc...).
So you might get attraction as soon as you say "Hey guys". They'll be snapping their heads to talk to you, smiling, touching you, before you'd even gone any further. For other girls, they might not even show attraction for 2 or 3 minutes. But then they see something in your behavior patterns that they like, and POW they have attraction.
The key is to stay composed AS IF YOU ARE NOT ANTICIPATING ATTRACTION AND AS IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, and to keep leading the interaction until they crack and become contributive.
What that means is that you just keep leading the conversation, and expect very little from her other than illusionary input where you actually laid out her answer for her but just added it in as a way of spinning the conversation.
A common way that guys blow it is that they expect fast attraction, and then they lose their composure if they don't get it.
But the thing is that because of social conditioning, girls actually pathologically deny the existence of what we call "indicators of interest". Like, they'll say "I wasn't attracted to that guy", who they showed major indicators of interest for.
That's why guys can screw up if they take a girl out for a "date" at a club. The girl may chat other guys while she's there, and show attraction, but the girl THINKS that you don't know what indicators of interest look like.
So if you get all upset that she's chatting other guys, then she thinks you're an idiot because in her mind all that she thinks you saw was her just chatting, even though you saw a lot more because of your experience in the game.
So the same goes for when you open, if you don't get attraction. You just pretend like you don't realize it, and keep leading the interaction until you get those indicators of interest.
In other words, you are the kind of guy who is confident and not SEEKING interest, which most players aren't - which is natural because they are more informed than the average guy.
But it's ironic that the average guy might actually get more success because he's clueless and just assumes that all girls like him, and thus stays in set longer and turns them around more gradually, like a nice slow roast instead of a nuclear pressure cooker that burns the outside of the turkey before the inside can even unthaw.
So what I'm talking about here is also related to a major difference in the inner game of a guy like myself or my friends, and guys who are more green to the game.
A guy who is good in field has integrated as a part of his belief system that attraction is just generated by his behaviour patterns, and if the girl isn't reacting properly he doesn't get all "Ohhhh I'm soooo sad" or whatever.
He just keeps going.
Like, if a girl walks off on me, I'm not thinking, "Ooooohhh I'm such a loser."
I'm thinking "If I follow her and start yelling funny stories at her, can I engage a blueprint and make her stop and turn the set around".
That is why I will push every set HARD.
I am extremely persistent in set.
I calculate my sets with a formula like "I have 30 seconds until she gets to her car while she's running away from me. Can I trigger a blueprint in under 29 seconds??"
(note: I'M JOKING... um, sort of.. ahem - don't do this unless you know what you're doing).
So for that reason, I'm not getting approach fear or my panties in a knot if I have an off night. I still have off nights, and they are usually dependent on how much I've slept and how crisp my voice is. Also, my mood, which my energy levels
(including my voice) affect.
For the most part though, I can plow through it, and do decent, even if its not amazing. Just so long as I'm cool with that when I go out, I don't mind.
But if I go out with high expectations and I have a totally weak night, then I'm disappointed.
Either way, these things will have a huge effect on my value calibrations. Like, if I go out feeling kickass, I will communicate high value.
But I'm not a state-dependent PUA either. Like, I'm not one of those "I'm not in the mood" guys who would rather argue for 10 minutes over why not to approach than to just go and crash and burn the set.
I'll still go in and just blow it, rather than sit there wondering what will happen.
Those guys who tell me "They're not in the mood" make no sense to me because its easier to just go in and blow the set than it is to argue about it and talk about it for 10 minutes.
Anyway, points of this whole rant:
=> There are blueprints in female psyche.
=> Whether or not a girl likes you means NOTHING. Just barrel through until she sees something she likes. Do this by leading the conversation until she becomes contributive.
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